If there is one thing I hate in this world it is the Steve Miller Band. Truly and deeply. I have been fighting a lifelong battle, struggling to share the good word with everyone - that the Steve Miller Band has, in fact, produced more lyrical abortions than William Hung's solo album "Measure of a Bang". I felt it appropriate, therefore, that the first post should outline the ways in which SMB has grossly offended all classic rock radio listeners, and all their music should be relegated to toilet paper status. I don't know why, but these guys really piss me off. Plus, from my 15 minutes of google research they seem to not have even done any drugs. How the fuck did they come up with these songs in the 70's without mind-altering substances? That at least would be an excuse. Anyway, here is a list of songs and my grievances:
"Abracadabra" - This is classic SMB. Nonsensical words, forced rhymes, and ear drum pain. The lyrics go - "Abra-abra-cadabra... I wanna reach out and grab ya." Give me a fucking break.
"Fly Like an Eagle"- I just flat out dislike this song, in part because it got double airplay in the late 90's when Seal covered it for Space Jam. I want no beef with Seal, however, because that guy could easily murder me with the third leg he picked up Heidi Klum with.
"Take the Money and Run" - direct quote - "Billy Mac is a detective down in Texas/ don't you know he knows just exactly what the facts is...". This is the song that pushed me over the edge from a subtle dislike of SMB to a burning hatred. As if squeezing in superfluous words and making what is widely accepted as The Worst Rhyme in Rock and Roll weren't enough, they have inserted rapid hand claps. I remain in utter disbelief that the rock audience of the 70's would let this pass, and that this song would still be played today.
"Shu ba da du ma ma ma ma" - I am not messing with you. This is an actual song they wrote, and I have heard it on the radio before. Not much commentary necessary here...
Anyway, Im done ranting. And just so you know, I actually do like the Joker. But other than that, SMB can lick my taint.
J4
