DO drink lots of water
DO avoid eye contact with all people
DO wear a clean shirt/suit
DO take lots of bathroom breaks (although avoid falling asleep on the can – blame narcolepsy if you do). There is nothing wrong with sitting on the toilet for 10 minute intervals playing brickbreaker. It’s a really good way to kill some time.
DO walk really fast and purposefully wherever you go. Even if it is just to the copier. People assume you are busy and will be less likely to fuck with you. This works especially well in a large office. Also, carry around a notepad and some loose papers while you are stomping. You will look genuinely fucking busy.
DO leave work as soon as possible. This might be a good day to pull out your “rainy-day excuse.” Some ideas are 1) my aunt is in town for tonight, 2) my landlord called and there is a leak in my roof, 3) the bondage convention is tonight and I might be crowned Leatherman 2009
DO NOT engage in unnecessary conversation with anyone. Chances are they can smell the booze and hooker spit on you and will call you out on it. Plus, you already know you look like shit, and your brain is functioning at about 25%, so you will probably sound like an idiot. This is not the time to hold forth about anything to anyone unless it is regarding your hangover to a trustworthy coworker.
DO NOT look at porn, even if it seems like a good idea. Your motor skills resemble that of a 95 year old sloth dipped in molasses, so there is no guarantee on being able to alt-tab when the boss walks by
DO NOT discuss your hangover with your boss. Even if they sense it, and your boss seems cool, its still a horrible idea.
DO avoid eye contact with all people
DO wear a clean shirt/suit
DO take lots of bathroom breaks (although avoid falling asleep on the can – blame narcolepsy if you do). There is nothing wrong with sitting on the toilet for 10 minute intervals playing brickbreaker. It’s a really good way to kill some time.
DO walk really fast and purposefully wherever you go. Even if it is just to the copier. People assume you are busy and will be less likely to fuck with you. This works especially well in a large office. Also, carry around a notepad and some loose papers while you are stomping. You will look genuinely fucking busy.
DO leave work as soon as possible. This might be a good day to pull out your “rainy-day excuse.” Some ideas are 1) my aunt is in town for tonight, 2) my landlord called and there is a leak in my roof, 3) the bondage convention is tonight and I might be crowned Leatherman 2009
DO NOT engage in unnecessary conversation with anyone. Chances are they can smell the booze and hooker spit on you and will call you out on it. Plus, you already know you look like shit, and your brain is functioning at about 25%, so you will probably sound like an idiot. This is not the time to hold forth about anything to anyone unless it is regarding your hangover to a trustworthy coworker.
DO NOT look at porn, even if it seems like a good idea. Your motor skills resemble that of a 95 year old sloth dipped in molasses, so there is no guarantee on being able to alt-tab when the boss walks by
DO NOT discuss your hangover with your boss. Even if they sense it, and your boss seems cool, its still a horrible idea.
DO NOT trade complex financial derivitatives. Or even stocks for that matter - I generally regret all investments made while hung. This is a particularly bad time to do anything "on the margin".
DO NOT choose today to hit on that hot admin
DO NOT drink on your lunch hour. While the Hair of the Dog that Bit You may seem like a good idea, you will feel good for about half an hour and then crash. Since it’s a workday, chances are you didn’t sleep worth a damn the night before, and alcohol is not going to help you fight the Fade.
DO NOT choose today to hit on that hot admin
DO NOT drink on your lunch hour. While the Hair of the Dog that Bit You may seem like a good idea, you will feel good for about half an hour and then crash. Since it’s a workday, chances are you didn’t sleep worth a damn the night before, and alcohol is not going to help you fight the Fade.
Keep fightin' the good fight all 3 of you devoted MI readers
Update - DO trade financial derivatives, particularly BAC call options on a day when the government is considering nationalizing the finance industry. And only do this if you are guaranteed to make money, which I just did.
Dude, I kill it on bathroom brickbreaker.
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