View from a Hangover

So decided to take the slow train to Louisville to see the Cooger and some other buddies. Probably a smart move. But I feel like Ive learned a couple things so far this weekend. And thank the good lord I don't have to work tomorrow. Anyway, heres what Ive learned:

1) If you thought the crowd on a Tuesday night at Circus Circus in Vegas was bad, try a riverboat casino in southern Indiana. This place catered to the down and out senior crowd more than any other joint I've seen. I think they had charging stations for your Rascals and free oxygen tank refills. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast, but whoa. Also, one thing I wish I had done was get some crab legs at the buffet. Tell me you can't get behind that at a riverboat casino. We were pretty much like Tom Selleck in Maverick.
2) There is a strip club in southern Indiana called "The Rustic Frog". What? You can't make that up. It may as well have been called "the Crusty Crab". I heard a story about how some guy got crabs in his eyebrows from some twisted lapdance. How fucked up is that? Guy tryin' to get his lappie on and all of a sudden there is shit crawling around his eyebrows. This place had to have been straight out of the strip club from the movie Porky's for a few reasons- it was on the water, it seemed a total dive, and Boss Hog would probably steal your money and kick your ass.
3) The bourbon trail is the fucking truth. Hearing the tour guide Billy Joe at Heaven Hill talk about the "bunghole", ie the plug that goes into a bourbon barrel, never got old. Call me immature, but the "bung hammer" does not sound like a legitimate tool. I would say the main update that I would have to my earlier bourbon guide is that Bookers is the jam, and I have a newfound respect for Maker's Mark.
4)Its also totally sweet to be in a red state again. NY is a bunch of pinko commie bastards, and it was refreshing to just bitch about the democrats with some random people.
5) Bottle service is the way to fly in Louisville. Pretty much strapped in for a Transcontinental Drunk (required MI reading - The View from Nowhere, by Jim Atkinson). Lets just say my seatbacks and tray tables were in the upright position.

Anyway, going to watch the Great American Race (Daytona 500), drink some brews, and fight The Fade.